- Feed them three times a day.
- Play with them—avoiding bloodshed when possible.
- Change litter frequently.
- Weigh them by any means necessary. Amateurs use patience and baby food. Pros pop them in shoeboxes, Tupperware, whatever.
- Administer oral antibiotics (see also: claws and teeth).
- Mop urine from a variety of surprising places.
- Scrub excrement off litter box, scoop, floor, toys, dishes, bedding, furnishings, and walls.
- Attempt to remove excrement from fur (see also: claws, teeth, fear of water).
- Love them anyway.
- Weep uncontrollably when required to return them to the shelter.
Bad Parenting 101 