Also known as: Knucklehead, Cujo.
Breed: Catahoula Cur + Junkyard Special
- Diverse palate. Eats everything except brussels sprouts and dog food.
- Frequently sleeps through the night without losing control of bowels. Special bonus: generously offers her humans four inches of the mattress plus all surrounding floor space.*
- Knows the location of every dumpster and dead rat in a five-mile radius.
- Rigorously enforces ambitious exercise routine. Great for New Year’s resolutions!
- Is well-behaved on walks unless provoked by the existence of other mammals.
- Will enthusiastically protect home from other household pets, the ice-maker, packages, brooms, the garage door, nearby pedestrians, that weird clang the oven makes, and Grandma.
Price: 50 pounds draped across your bladder every morning.
*Sorry. Blankets unavailable.